It's in Me
Episode Three, Season Two, of Cold Enjoy <3 I'll try to make this longer :P It's in Me Don't you ever get the feeling when something seems perfect, and you just know something bad's going to happen? Yeah well I felt that feeling when I woke up at dawn, and I saw Dawnfur sitting outside, gazing at ShadowClan's land. "Dawnfur?" I mewed astonished. Why was she sitting outside my den when she could be back at ShadowClan camp? She turned around, and I saw that her eyes were misted. "I wanted to check in on you. It just doesn't feel right not to be sleeping with Crowheart, Snowbreeze, Minnowfur, and you. It's so lonely back in ShadowClan. I don't seem to fit there anymore." "How come?" I mewed softly. "Don't you mean something to Flameheart too?" Dawnfur sighed. "I may be Blackstar's daughter, but he never pays attention to me anymore. I think he's forgotten about me, and I think I should just stay with our group. Our friendship means more than what my clan seems to be worth." "What about Flameheart?" I asked again. The cream colored she-cat curled her tail. "He's okay. He wants to be with me, yet he has his own duties to attend to. Everyone's trying to adjust to the return of the travelling cats. It's so...weird now." I scooted over and hesitantly laid my tail over her back. She didn't flinch away, and I settled my tail there. She sighed again. "I wonder how the others feel..." She paused, then mewed. "How about you, Storm? How does it feel to be home?" I looked around my little den, and noticed that Shade was staring at me from the inside. She was listening in on us, and I knew she wanted to know how well our friendship was. She was trusting us. "It's a bit lonely now, like you said, it's only Shade and me here. Ever since... my mother... died-" Suddenly Shade snarled and she bowled me over. There was a glazed look in her eyes, and she began to claw at me. "Shade!" I screamed, shoving my sister off and grabbing her. "Shade, don't do it. Don't let your grief overwhelm you. Please!" Dawnfur's eyes were wide with horror, and she backed away a little bit. "Storm, what should I do?" "Just stay there!" I yowled. "I shouldn't have reminded her about.... our mother." Shade roared and twisted away from me. Her once kind, amber eyes were wild and fierce. I backed away from her, trying to make sure that she didn't attack me or Dawnfur. Shade shuddered, her tail now lashing and her claws were tearing at the ground. I remembered when Leaf first died, how scared I was when Shade became like this. I waited for her to calm down, hoping that it wasn't as bad as last time. But then, Shade whirled around, and crashed away into the undergrowth. "Shade..." I whispered. Dawnfur shivered. "What just happened?" She was horrified by what she just saw, and I knew she always thought Shade was a level and good cat. "When I said our mother died, I must have triggered some kind of memory in Shade. She can't really control her grief, and when it overwhelms her, she ticks off like that." I sighed. "I don't know what she saw that day that turned her like this. She was with our mother when something happened..." Dawnfur didn't press it. She licked her chest fur, still a bit ruffled. "When will she come back?" "That's what I'm worried about." I mewed, worriedly. "I don't know when Shade will calm down and come to her senses. Last time, it took a full moon to get her back." "You don't seem... happy anymore." Dawnfur mewed. I glanced at the trees around me, my eyes starting to mist. "The trees remind me of Dewheart and what I lost in the battle against the rogues." "But no one really knew Dewheart except Crowheart. How come his death is affecting you so... harshly?" She was curious, and I knew that, but a broken part inside of me wanted to hurt Dawnfur for no reason right here. I hesitated, knowing it had been my little secret until now. Then I mewed. "Before my mother died, before all this happened, I met Dewheart while he was hunting alone in the forest. I didn't know I was ThunderClan territory, so I had been strolling about in the forest, enjoying my day. "Then he pops out, and he growled fiercely at me, warning me to back off the territory. I was curious about him and ThunderClan, so we moved over to the border and chatted. He turned out to be a friendly tom, and I started to meet him more often. "And then leaf-bare starts to fall, and he had to work harder to help his Clan. Shade decided she needed to start to help more, so she started to drift away too. This was after my mother died, by the way. One day, that very day, I set off with you guys on the journey to find the land that we needed. "He was gone from my life for the next moon, and we travelled until we reached the rogues. When he came along with the others, my heart blossomed with happiness. We were happy until we battled against the foxes. That's why his death truly affected me." Dawnfur seemed to drink in all of this. "I'm not sure how bad it would affect me if Flameheart died. He's lovely, yes, but he never looks at me like an equal. Not like you do, not like Crowheart or Snowbreeze or Minnowfur does. He looks down at me because I'm weaker." I knew how she felt. "At first it was like that for me and Dewheart. He looked down at me because I was just a rogue. But then he realized what we meant to each other, and he started to look at me as an equal." "I wish I could say the same about Flameheart." Dawnfur sighed. "Well I hope you have luck in finding Shade. I'm going back to ShadowClan." "Alright." After she left, I didn't move. Tears were leaking out of my eyes, and I realized how badly I missed Dewheart. He was gone. Gone like the wind because I couldn't protect him against the foxes. Unlike how I did for Crowheart. Dewheart really did mean a lot to me, and his death was like a hole in my heart. There was nothing worse than lossing someone you love. I think after Leaf died, I began to cling onto Shade, not wanting to lose her. But after I lost Dewheart, everything kind of broke apart. I still had Shade, but now she was gone too. I felt for Dewheart in my heart, trying to find some company for my broken heart. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't escape the trees, they were my home, but they reminded me too much of Dewheart. The kind and caring tom... "Storm, remember that time when we were sitting at the border, and both of us were hostile?" Dewpaw purred as he sat next to me. I nodded eagerly. "Yeah! Leaf got real mad at me because I was gone for so long. Now she doesn't really care. She says now that I'm six moons old now, I'm big enough to be outside for a long time." He smiled. "That's great! Now we can hang out together." "Yeah," I mewed, "When are you going to become a warrior?" Dewpaw shrugged. "I don't know, maybe soon. Bramblestar gets to decide I guess. But I think it'll be a few more moons before I become a warrior. I'm only eight moons old." "Wow! You're old." I laughed. "It feels weird being six moons old. If I was in ThunderClan, I'd be an apprentice now right?" "Yeah," he purred, "Bramblestar would have just given you your apprentice name and a mentor. Then you'd be exploring our territory." I shrugged. "Well I got to explore my territory when I was three moons old. Though Shade had to guard me as I explored because I was still a kit." "That seems like a good life. Do you every get bored of it?" Dewpaw asked, curious. I nodded vigorously. "I get bored of my life all the time! It's just hunting, maybe a play fight with my sister, and Leaf just tells us stories. There's nothing much to do as a rogue I guess. Do you get bored of your life?" "I did when I was a kit like you, because we couldn't go anywhere outside of the camp. But now that I'm an apprentice, it's been great! Some days I practice hunting, and other days I get to practice fighting. Thankfully, all the Clans are at peace though." I stared at him, my eyes wide with surprise. "Wow, that doesn't sound bad either. Do you have to go and train now?" Dewpaw shook his head. "Tonight's the Gathering, and I'm going so Bramblestar's letting me take a day off. My mentor got hurt in a badger fight too, so I can't really train with him anyways." "Did you see the badger yourself?" I mewed, completely engaged with the conversation. "I've never seen one before. But Leaf tells me stories about badgers." Dewpaw nodded. "Yeah, it was terrifying! It was huge, and had black stripes all over it's fur. It's eyes were beady and were staring at us and his teeth were bared. I couldn't lift a paw to help, I was too terrified! I was so surprised when the rest of the patrol leaped at the badger with no fear." I gasped. "I would have been mortified if I were you. Badgers sound real mean, but then there's that story about Midnight and the patrolling cats that went to find her right?" "Yeah, I loved that story." Dewpaw purred. "Bramblestar himself was part of the patrol. He sometimes tells the kits that story over and over. He also has another tale about Midnight. The tale of Leafpool and Crowfeather when they were still alive." "Tell me it! Tell me the tale." I pleaded as I waited for him to speak. Dewpaw laughed. "Of course, of course. So once upon a time, there was a she-cat called Leafpool. She was the ThunderClan medicine cat, and was loyal to her code. But when she met Crowfeather, she couldn't help but fall in love. "The Clans had just moved to the lake, and they were still settling in. Crowfeather urged Leafpool to run of with him so they could be together. At first, they remained loyal to their Clan, but then Leafpool got into a fight with her mentor, Cinderpelt. Leafpool agreed to run off withe Crowfeather, and the two ran off into the night. "The next day, they stayed out in the wild, staying away from the Clans that they left behind. Suddenly, a badger appeared in front of them, and Leafpool was terrified. But Crowfeather knew this badger, as of he had been on the patrol alongside Bramblestar to meet Midnight. "Midnight the badger warned the two cats about her kin that was about to attack ThunderClan. At first, they had been nonchalant about it and exclaimed that they had left their Clans. Midnight just nodded to them, and she travelled on the warn the Clans. "That afternoon, the two cats were restless. They realized that they couldn't just leave their Clans in danger like that, so together, they dashed back to ThunderClan. The badgers were already attacking, and the two jumped into battle. "The ending was tragic. Sorrewpelt, a queen at that time, was kitting, and Cinderpelt was trying to help her. Sadly, a badger butted into the Nursery, and swatted Cinderpelt aside. They managed to get the badger out, but Cinderpelt died a painful death. "Leafpool remained in her Clan after the battle, and she learned her lesson about loving another tom. But it was too late, she ended up having three kits, and died as a warrior before I was born." "Wow...." I mewed. "That Midnight must have been real kind to even go against her kin to warn her friends." Dewpaw nodded. "And if she wasn't trying to warn them, I doubt ThunderClan would still be alive because she was the one who brought WindClan to help." I lay down next to Dewpaw, enjoying the day. "You know, maybe badgers aren't that bad after all." I remembered that conversation as clear as the day. I remembered how Dewpaw had been so realistic with his tale, describing everything clearly. He even acted out Cinderpelt's death, making it more tragic than it had been. Stretching, I remembered what I had been like at six moons old. I was young and jumpy, excited about everything that was new to me. Now, at eight moons old, I started to follow after my sister, becoming more mature and more like an older cat. Dewheart began a warrior right before we left for the journey, and I remembered meeting with him one more time to congratulate him. "Congratulations, Dewheart!" I purred as I met him that night. He smiled. "Thank you, Storm. Has life been good for you too? You are coping well with the lost of your mother, right?" "Yes, thank you." I mewed, feeling as though the conversation was too formal. "So, do you have to sit vigil tonight?" He groaned. "Don't remind me, Storm. It's such a chilly night, I'll freeze before dawn comes!" I brushed against him. "You can't freeze." I murmured. "I won't allow that, what will happen to our future if you die on your vigil night?" Dewheart smiled again, and laid his tail around me. "You're such a carin she-cat, Storm. I'm glad I have someone like you near me." "I'm not always with you though." I sighed, knowing that our lives separated us from each other. "I wish you could come live with me and Shade. It would be so much better." Dewheart sighed too. "I can't leave my Clan. I'm a loyal warrior. Perhaps you should join ThunderClan?" He glanced at me hopefully. I shook my head. "I cannot leave my sister alone. Plus, I think I prefer being a rogue than being a Clan cat. I would never get used to your routines and duties." "Alright." Dewheart mewed, rubbing his cheek against mine. "I have to go now, take care of yourself, Storm." "You too." After that night, I never saw Dewheart again until I went to their camp to retrieve the journeying warrior. But at that time, I didn't spot Dewheart, and I didn't want to pain of seeing him and leaving him for a long time. So I didn't look for him that day. When I saw him again, it was when he hurried off to help us. Bramblestar had allowed him to come on our journey, knowing that one more cat would surely help us. But sadly, the battle against the foxes ruined it all. "Storm?" I turned around slowly, and to my surprise, Crowheart was standing behind me. "You're thinking about Dewheart aren't you." Nodding slowly, he mewed to me. "He was a hero among ThunderClan. He was one of the strongest warriors that we had. When he went off to find us and assist us, nobody knew he would die out there. When we came back without him, there was a lot of grief and sorrow in the air." I stared at him now. "What are you doing here?" I mewed softly. Crowheart looked down at the ground. "Snowbreeze suggested that I think about my actions a little, and perhaps find that the cats that I might have hurt and apologize to them. At first, I had no idea what she was talking about, and then I remembered you." "Go on." "I realized that when I first saw you, you were a shining light in my dark past. It was like seeing an angel come from StarClan. I was delighted to know that you were going to be travelling with us." Crowheart seemed to hesitate, though I guessed what he was going to say next. "But then I met Snowbreeze. She was such a kind she-cat, like you, Storm, and I knew she liked me. I was so sure that I loved you until I realized, it wasn't really how I felt." Crowheart hesitated again, then pushed onwards. "And I just pushed you away, not wanting to tell you how sorry I was for just rejecting you and I didn't want to tell you that I loved Snowbreeze more." I didn't move, and now I knew what was really coming. "I'm sorry, Storm, but I realized that my love for you wasn't real, and I was just a foolish tom. I don't know if you love me or not, but I don't think I love you anymore." Crowheart's eyes searched mine, then he whispered. "I'm so sorry." "It's okay." I heard myself say. "I don't think I love you either. It isn't fair to you anyways, since I loved Dewheart before, and it isn't fair to him that I would just throw him off and start loving another tom." Crowheart allowed a little smile and he murmured. "I didn't know what to do when I realized where my heart truly lay." "I'm sorry too, Crowheart." The End. Category:Cchen3's Fanfics Category:Cold